Late Night Poems

Vol. 4

Late Night Poems is an amalgamation of invasive and lovely thoughts throughout the week, or weeks. These are weeks 1/30 & 2/6.

i don't wanna be this way anymore

i don't know how I feel today.
i'm in my comfort outfit
with my comfort cup
and a comfort animal
wrapped in a comfortable love.
of one that has chosen to love
her.
when i can't stand to face them in the mirror.

---

shania twain doesn't deserve for me to hate her

i hear her.

i hear her.

i hear her.

i hear her.

i hear her.

i hear her.

i hear her.

i hear her; i hear you; i wish i could only focus on the song,

but all i hear is her s-----inging over the song

giving me my voice, and silencing it.

angry

that i tried to sing along?

"hey, let your mom sing. she loves this song..."

"are you good?" "...lol, no."

would you ask me if i were ok
after i told you about my invasive thought:

scene:

me, 
jumping out of a moving car sprinting to the nearest hospital to check myself in because I can't tell if i'm ok or not.
thinking about how much easier it would be to just be locked away, away from everything around that can hurt or heal or love or be or see or hear or say or tell me that 
i 
am
ok.

let me absorb into the walls and fade into the cinder blocks that wash out life before death.