Introducing: The Misadventures of Lily and Dexter

a series.

My brother is not what I had hoped for. He is loud. He isn’t soft and he stinks. But not in a good way, stinks. Like, a bad stink. He smells…different.

He acts differently too.

In the morning, he doesn’t wait for Mom and Dad to wake up. Instead, he jumps on their faces. Back and forth until they are fed up and finally feed us. I don’t mind the result, but it is obnoxious. Sometimes, I hear my parents talking about trading him for one of the other cats outside. Saying that “at least they’d be ‘grateful.’”

I’m not sure what that word means, but it sounds like “full.” So, maybe it means they would feed them more because they’d like a different cat. I’m not sure.

Anyway, ever since we got my brother, Dexter, life is definitely more chaotic. Mom says she’s never had a “cat” before. He looks more like a rat to me. He’s kind of boney and skinny, like a squirrel that is too young to hunt.

Speaking of hunting, he’s terrible at it. I once saw him stare at a fly without snapping at it, not even once! How could you stand the “buzzing?!” Plus, there was always a reward if you caught a fly. Mom would give me cheese if I caught one.

I’m not much of a hunter either, but that’s only because Mom and Dad don’t like it. They take me on the “trail” though. They let me go on my own or, “off leash,” but not too far ahead. I can always hear Mom when I get too far say, “ ‘Ey! Come on, Lily. You know better.” I do, but, I like to follow the smells. Sometimes, I’ll even find a pizza crust!

Trail days were always my favorite, especially when it was just us. Nowadays, I’m too tired to go because of Dexter. I’m not sure what a “menace” is, but it sounds about right. He keeps us up at night with his “sounds.” I don’t even know what to call them. Mom sometimes says “yowling.” But I’ve never heard anything howl like that, for sooo long, ever.

Well, as my Mom says: “it can’t be helped” and “it is what it is.”

I remember when we first met.

Mom took me to this “theater” at night, I always love going on a car ride so I didn’t think anything of it. But, what was weird is that they kept trying to get me to poop before I went inside. I didn’t want to, but we stayed out there for a long while. I could tell she was annoyed, but Dad said “not to worry about it.”

It was dark. And the air was really chilly. I don’t mind the cold much, but there was this smell I didn’t recognize. Along with the mustiness of the floor, dust and mold from the walls, the occasional whiff of a stinky toilet, I could sense that there was something near us. Something alive.

Look, I’m not the bravest of the bunch. I try really hard to be, for Mom and Dad, but they seemed fine. They didn’t seem scared. So, we trekked deeper into the building towards a dim light. Faintly, I could hear a small noise. I stopped. Mom urged me on, but I wanted to figure out the noise! What if it was a big animal? A burglar? My job is to let them know!

Still, Mom assured me everything was fine. As we came closer to a small room off to the side, the weird smell was getting stronger. The noise, too, had began to grow louder.

“….eoooowww, eoooowww, EOOOOWWW.”

I ran in front of my parents and stuck my nose under the door, trying to take these last few seconds before we all opened it, maybe I can figure it out.

But then, as I heard a *BOP* and felt my nose sting, it was too late.

Dad reached for the doorknob as Mom tried to console my, now, hurt nose. I whimpered and whined. Surely, there was a monster behind the door. I could see its sharp talons in the shadows, hear its shrill yelling.

No one was listening, though. And Dad opened the door and I accidentally pooped on the floor.

To be continued.